Malaysian English a.k.a. Manglish

English is the most “internationalised” language in the world, a language which changes with the locale where it is spoken. In Malaysia, the variant is known as Manglish. -)A short comparison of both “regular” English and Manglish is given below.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons : I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size but if you give me a moment, I can call other oulets for you.
Malaysians: Sorry, No stock!!

RETURNING A CALL
Britons : Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians : Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons : Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians : S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons : Hey, put your wallet away, this drinks is on me.
Malaysians : Wei… No need lah..

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons : Excuse me, but do you think it would possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians : (pointing the door) Can arr?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons : Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians : Aiya.. Dont be shy lah!!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons : I don’t recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians : Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons : I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.
Malaysians: Doe- waan la..

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons : Err. sir, i’ve to stop you here. I understand where you’re coming from but i really have disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians : You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOME ONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice. I’m trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians : Wooi.. Shaddap lah!!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE /SHE KHOWS YOU
Britons : Excuse me, but i noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do i know you?
Malaysians: See what? See What?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons : We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment!
Malaysians : Aiya.. die lah!!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons : Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians : Wat happen? Why lai dat????

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons : This isn’t the way to do it. Here let me show you.
Malaysians : Aiyah!!!, lai dat also doe no how to do!!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons : Would you mind not disturbing me!
Malaysians : Celaka u!!

Smile…….. 🙂  -)

SHOCKING PUNISHMENT over a sanitary pad

Spotted this item in NST today.

I think the warden went overboard and should be boarded out.

This form of extreme punishment should no longer be tolerated in a modern society.

The  students  enduring their punishment in the muddy pond. — Picture courtesy of Borneo Post

The students enduring their punishment in the muddy pond. — Picture courtesy of Borneo Post

KUCHING: Two hundred schoolgirls of a boarding school were forced to squat, neck-deep, in a murky pond after a used sanitary pad was found in a toilet bowl.

The girls were in the pond for an hour during heavy rain while the warden, who meted out the punishment, stood under an umbrella to supervise the punishment.

The punishment, which was described as “improper”, is being investigated by the Education Ministry.

The shocking event at SMK Bawang Assan was captured on camera by the school’s parent-teacher association chairman Jimmy Kiu at 5pm on Wednesday.

Seeing Kiu taking photographs, the warden ordered the girls out of the pond.

By then, several of them complained of itchiness and rashes. Several were also reportedly ill after the incident.

Kiu claimed none of the school officials came to check the situation despite these complaints.

Most of the 500 students in Form One to Five are from the interior areas of Sungei Pasin, Batang Lassa, Nanga Singat, Sungei Lengang, Sungei Belangan and Tanjung Bekakap.

The students from the co-ed school go home on weekends.

“This kind of punishment is inhumane. And it is all over a used sanitary pad in a toilet bowl,” Kiu said.

“The water in the pond is dirty as waste from the canteen flows straight into it.”

A school official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the warden decided to punish all the female students after no one owned up to leaving the used pad in the toilet bowl.

“I think the warden was angry as it is expensive to fix a clogged toilet,” Kiu said.

Sarawak Teachers’ Union president William Ghani Bina expressed his uneasiness with the disciplinary measure applied by the warden.

“The warden’s intentions may have been good, but she should have followed the guidelines on disciplining students,” William said.

“Teachers are humans, too. This warden may have gone overboard in instilling discipline.”

William did not, however, put all the blame on the warden.

He said the student concerned should also take responsibility.

“This incident would not have occurred if school regulations were followed. There are proper bins to dispose of used sanitary pads.”

Sibu deputy police chief Superintendent Zamani Hamdan said they had yet to receive any report over the incident.

Misleading Advertisement by McDonald???

I was having a McValue Meal (Fish) at the IOI outlet a couple of hours ago and something strikes me as odd. In all the pictures of this product I have seen the fish patty and burger is ALWAYS shown with a full slice of cheese. But the one I was eating has only a HALF slice in it.Thinking back, I realised that for the past few months, the McFillet Burgers has always been served with only half a slice of cheese. I remember it USED to be served with a full slice.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am NOT a cheese fanatic and I do not mind the burger being served with only half a slice. But then shouldn’t the images of the product be shown with only a half slice instead of a full slice?

I’ve ate at a few of their outlets here in Kuala Lumpur and they are all the same; only half a slice whereas the pictures in the advertisement panels show a full slice. Wonder if it is the same throughout the country or even the world?

Can someone clarify whether this constitute false/misleading advertisement?

On a slightly different subject, on one occasion, a small cockroach emerge from under the table just after just after I finished a McFillet Burger. I grabbed my camera a took a couple of shots of the cockroach. A picture of this cockroach is shown below.

Big M should really be more conscious of the cleanliness of its outlets.

Cockroach at McDonald

Three Legged Chicken

Spotted this unusual item in the NST today:

Three Legged Rooster

FOWL SURPRISE: Chicken trader Shaharnizam Abdul Rahman (right), 32, got the shock of his life when he discovered that a rooster he was about to slaughter had three legs. He had bought the 2.5kg rooster among 30 chickens from a farmer in Guar Chempedak six months ago for rearing. When he caught the rooster to slaughter last week, he realised that it had a third leg, which was the same size as the other two. “I was offered up to RM800 to part with the rooster but decided against it. I consider it a gift from God,” he said, while his friend, Mohd Zaudi Mohd Hashim, looked on. — NST picture by Rahmat Othman.

Student needs Viagra to survive

Spotted this heart-wrenching story in the Star today.

So, Pfizer, have a heart and spare some small change to ease the pain of a young girl?

Student needs Viagra

BUTTERWORTH: For the past one year, Florentina Usun George has been taking Viagra daily, not for the wrong reason but to treat her ASD Pulmonary Hypertension ailment.

The 21-year-old student of Cosmopoint College in Penang needs two Viagra tablets, at RM40 each, daily to keep her going.

Medical problem: Florentina showing a doctor’s letter stating that she has ASD Pulmonary Hypertension at the Penang Umno complaints bureau in Butterworth yesterday. With her are Linda (left) and Farah.

“Without the medicine, I will experience chest pain, breathing difficulty and (feel) weak. It is really painful and I cannot concentrate on my studies,” said the second-year Computer Graphics student.

Florentina, from Miri, Sarawak, said she was diagnosed with the disease when she went for a medical check-up at University Malaya Medical Centre in March last year.

She was told to take Viagra daily to maintain her blood pressure level.

A doctor who declined to be named said Viagra could reduce the pressure on the right side of Florentina’s heart which was high.

The doctor said Viagra was initially introduced for hypertension but it was later found that it could also help patients with erectile dysfunction.

Florentina’s former lecturer Farah Nuzaily Zakaria, 27, said she had taken her to the National Heart Institute in Kuala Lumpur and Island Hospital in Penang, and again was told Florentina had to take Viagra to live.

“We were told that Viagra was the cheapest medication that could help improve her condition,” she said during a press conference held at the Umno Public Complaints Bureau office in Butterworth yesterday.

Forentina’s younger sister, Linda Livan George, 20, is working at a fast food restaurant in Penang to help buy the medication.

Those who wish to help Florentina can send out their cheques made payable to Biro Pengaduan Umno, Tingkat 2, Bangunan Mahkamah Munisipal MPSP, Lorong Kg Jawa, Jalan Bagan Luar, 12000 Butterworth. They should write Florentina’s name on the back of their cheques.

First the Porsche then the Mercs

First the Porsche gets stolen from the showroom.

Then it gets stolen again from the Police Station!

Now another expensive car gets stolen from another showroom of the same company!

What next!???

Story from NST dated today

Man steals Mercedes from Naza showroom

PETALING JAYA: A smartly-dressed man sped off in a Mercedes Benz E200 worth RM500,000 from the Naza World showroom located along the Federal Highway here yesterday.

The man got into the car after a salesman had moved it out of the showroom, leaving the key in the ignition. The thief then drove away.

Several security guards tried to stop him but he sped off and missed hitting the guards by centimetres in the 4pm incident.

District police chief ACP Mazlan Mansor said the showroom did not have closed-circuit television cameras, adding that police were investigating whether the theft could have been an inside job.

At press time, the black luxury car was still reported to be missing.

Meanwhile, in George Town, police investigation into the security breach at its Seberang Prai Tengah district headquarters on Monday night, where a man drove off in a RMmillion Porsche, will be completed in two days.

State police chief Datuk Koh Hong Sun said the night sentries on duty had given their statements.

He also said that none of the personnel on duty had been suspended.

The car was found abandoned near Maktab Perguruan Tuanku Bainun in Mengkuang.

Freak Malaysian $5 Currency Note

I guess not many of you have seen a freak Malaysian currency note.

I do have one in my possession and the note is shown below.

See if you can detect what is so “freaky” about this note. -)

A freak Malaysian $5 Note

For those who still cannot see what is wrong with the note above, the serial number at the top left corner differs from that of the bottom right corner.